Words
by smidget
Summary: There was no case against him really… was there? Harry breaks the news of his disciplinary hearing to the anxiously waiting crowd back at Grimmauld Place and it doesn’t go at all the way they had hoped. Sirius and Harry chat. OotP missing moment.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Words**

As Harry and Mr. Weasley made there way down the otherwise vacant street, Harry's feeling of euphoria seemed to bubble up inside of him. It seemed only moments ago that he had stepped into the cavernous courtroom and seen the gloomy shapes of the Wizengamot towering above him. And yet, the early morning made up of Mrs. Weasley making toast and trying to flatten his hair (which caused skeptical grins on the faces of Sirius and Lupin) seemed a lifetime ago. Then, he hadn't known what awaited him even in the immediate future, and now… now he was going back to Hogwarts, back to where he really belonged. The grin on his face grew even wider.

They had reached number twelve in what seemed a matter of minutes after leaving the Ministry; it had squeezed it's way into view without Harry noticing. Mr. Weasley put his hand on his shoulder and the two of them made their way up the front steps. He smiled down at Harry as they reached the door, a look that Harry _thought_ looked like pride showing on his face, but it may have just been his imagination.

The large door swung open with a slight creek and as he and Mr. Weasley stepped into the gloomy hallway, Harry caught a whiff of lunch. As he registered the smell as potatoes, his smile grew even larger and it felt as if his face was going to split. He loved lunch. He loved potatoes.

There was bump and some frustrated mumbling a floor above them that Harry thought he recognized as Mrs. Weasley. "I'm going to check upstairs for Molly. I'll see you down in the kitchen, Harry." And with that, Mr. Weasley went to the right, up the stairs, and Harry was left in the hall by himself. He blew out some breath and put his hands casually in his pockets, slowly making his way toward the kitchen where he knew many of the house guests would be gathered, waiting for lunch, and, he reminded himself, waiting for news.

He could just see their faces as he told them the news. They would look very relieved, too relieved considering how confident they all tried to appear whenever the subject of the hearing was brought up. But Harry wasn't fooled. They were worried, and he had been worried too. Hermione had spent an unsurprising amount of time in number twelve's library, researching cases of underage magic and secrecy breaches. Ron had taken the usual route of avoiding the topic if at all possible and tended to change the subject. And Sirius….

As far as Harry could tell, Sirius was trying to remain objective about the whole ordeal. It seemed that he didn't want to assume any one outcome, but would rather wait until after the fact to worry or rejoice. Even if Harry didn't know which outcome would bring about rejoicing. It had been frustrating to Harry that he hadn't been able to get a straight answer out of his godfather…. As hard as he had tried, Harry just couldn't gage Sirius's reactions to this with any confidence. If only there was a way he could tell what Sirius was really thinking about this whole catastrophe.

A sudden idea struck him as he reached to the door leading into the kitchen and a mischievous grin wound around his face as one eyebrow twitched upward. He glanced behind him and listened. It sounded as though Mr. Weasley was still upstairs. Wiping the smile off his face, he set it to a brooding look he was becoming quite convincing at and pushed open the door with a disgruntled sigh.

He could tell that their had been a quiet chatter in the room before he had entered, but all noise had ceased as all eyes focused on Harry. He glanced at all of them quickly, not wanting to hold anyone's gaze for long. Fred and George were near the opposite end of the table, butterbeers in hand. Ginny was across from them, her head propped up on both of her hands. Ron and Hermione were the closest to him, next to each other on the long bench, and Sirius and Remus sat across from them, carefully inquiring looks on their faces. All of them were gathered together, looking nervous.

Harry had to look down at his shoes to hide the smile that was fighting to gain control. He stood there, hands still shoved in his pockets and refused to make further eye contact with anyone. There were a few moments of tense silence until Ron said, "Well?" A few more seconds of silence, and then Harry, not yet trusting himself to speak, let out a desperate groan, crossed to the table, collapsed into a chair and let his forehead clunk onto the cold wood in front of him. Fully intending to do the thing properly, he rested his hands on top of his head and grasped onto his hair in a convincingly frustrated manner.

He heard someone cough and the other occupants of the room shifting in their seats, clearly uncomfortable and uncertain of how to respond. Harry waited. Finally, Hermione tentatively asked, sounding breathless, "They didn't… you're not…. They haven't expelled you, have they?" Harry could almost see the others leaning forward expectantly, but he didn't answer, merely let out another groan and clutched more tightly at his hair. Someone gasped.

There were a few awkward moments and Lupin rested a hand on his shoulder. Harry sat up. Seeing everyone's either shocked or stoic faces, he almost considered ending the charade, but looking at Sirius, Harry knew that he needed to know how his godfather would react, needed to follow through with this and really understand. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I didn't think they would _actually_ _expel_ me." It wasn't a lie. In the back of his mind, he couldn't really fathom _actually_ being expelled. It was too horrible. "Especially after Dumbledore showed up but…." He trailed off, still refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

Clearly, it was an uncomfortable situation in which no one seemed keen to speak up. Harry took this opportunity to glance over at Sirius, who had a look on his face that was neither disappointed nor cheerful. He seemed to be having some kind of internal struggle. While the others glanced silently and uncertainly at each other (even Fred and George seemed subdued) Harry noticed that Lupin had turned to study Sirius's face as well. His godfather was certainly quite the enigma…

He had asked if, in the worst possible outcome, he could come and stay with Sirius here in Grimmauld Place. Sirius had been reluctant to give an answer, again that seeming internal struggle and so Harry had come up with two possible explanations. Either Sirius didn't want Harry to stay or he felt guilty for _wanting_ Harry to stay. Well, Sirius wouldn't have offered for Harry to come live with him over a year ago if he hadn't meant it. Maybe Sirius really did want him to be expelled…

_Don't be stupid_, a voice told him. _Why would Sirius want you to be expelled from Hogwarts?_

Harry didn't have any more time to ponder this though, because after a few moments of stunned silence and awkward shuffling of chairs, a beaming Mr. Weasley entered with his wife right behind him. Mrs. Weasley gave him a big hug and cried, "Oh Harry, Arthur told me the news!"

Certain that the other occupants of the room had only caught a glimpse of the tears in Molly's eyes before her face was buried in his shoulder, Harry felt another little pang of guilt at the devastated faces before him. Even Sirius was starting to look a little unhappy rather than his stoic, expressionless face.

Hermione's head shot toward Mr. Weasley as he said this and Sirius's dark eyebrows twitched together. Something… resigned crossed his face before he again took on a black expression. Harry looked at Mr. Weasley who was looking bewildered at all the somber faces. "Break the news yet Harry?"

"I broke the news alright." Mrs. Weasley finally released him and straightened up, a wide smile on her face as she gazed at Harry. He glance around the room again and this time everyone's looks were clear. Pairs of narrowed eyes, including Sirius's and, surprisingly, Lupin's, looked back at him while everyone else was looking at Mrs. Weasley, confused.

Ginny was staring at him with a skeptical look on her face, as if she had been calculating all the facts in her mind and had reached the only possible conclusion. She glanced to Harry, to her dad, and then back again. "He got off," she whispered, and Harry was certain that he was the only one who heard it. He couldn't help it. He caught her eye and winked at her. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. "He got off." She said more clearly, and the others turned to her, confused. She looked at them all, eyes wide, as if they had missed something obvious.

"_He got off!_"

There was a moment of silence as the occupants of the room turned from Ginny to Harry and back again and Harry simply could not contain his excitement any longer. A large grin crossed his face and he let out a deep, full laugh, leaning back in his chair. Ginny was shaking her head with a smile on her face still saying, "He got off," but other than that, the others were still until Ron shook himself out of his disbelief, punched the air and shouted, "I knew it! You always get away with stuff!"

This exclamation seemed to bring the room out of its shocked state and everyone's posture seemed to relax. Hermione looked positively faint. She put her hand over her eyes for a moment before looking at him and said, "They were bound to clear you. There was no case against you, none at all." Though she still looked shaken. And she wasn't the only one.

Sirius looked as though his mother had just walked into the room. There was pure shock as he gazed as Harry. Harry had been carefully gauging his godfather's expression ever since he's arrived. Upon his initial entrance, Harry had noted that Sirius' face was carefully closed off from expression making it appear brooding, but Harry knew that he was merely processing unexpected information. Now, as Harry continued to watch, Sirius caught Harry's eye, and a flitting expression of something Harry couldn't identify flashed across before an overly wide smile spread everywhere on his gaunt face except his eyes.

Not wanting to dwell on this new information or what it meant, Harry returned his attention to the others in the room. Fred, George, and Ginny had started a chant to the words of, "He got off! He got off!" and Lupin was leaning back in his chair, shaking his head, a look of pure relief evident on his face.

"Everyone seems quite relieved though, considering they all knew I'd get off."

"Well you told us you hadn't!" said Ron indignantly but Harry shook his head.

"No, Ron, he merely led us to believe that," Lupin chimed in.. "He never actually _said_…" He trailed off, still shaking his head.

The rest of the afternoon tapered slowly off as everyone took a break from the cleaning. Harry tried to speak with Sirius multiple times, but didn't get the chance until after dinner was cleared and Order members filtered out back home. Harry found him in the drawing room, lounging on one of the safer (they hadn't found anything living inside when they cleaned the room), if dusty, couches.

Harry plopped down of the cushion next to his godfather and said, without preamble, "Are you glad I'm going back to Hogwarts?" There was only the slightest of pauses before Sirius answered, without looking at him.

"No. Not really. Not entirely." He sighed and shifted his weight. Harry's face remained just as expressionless as the man's beside him. "But your education is important, Harry. You belong at Hogwarts."

"Why- erm- would you have let me come to stay with you if I had been… been expelled?" Harry didn't realize that he was holding his breath as he waited for the answer.

"Yes. But not for the reasons everyone thinks." Finally, Sirius turned and looked at Harry straight in the eyes and Harry could finally tell, without a doubt, that Sirius was telling the truth. He wasn't avoiding the subject or guarding his thoughts. "I don't think you're James. I have _never_ thought that."

Uncomfortable, but entirely sure why, Harry chose not to directly address this but instead asked, "Why did you want me to stay?"

Sirius sighed, not seeming unsure but more frustrated. "Harry. You one of the few who really believe, completely believe, that I am both sane and not-evil. I am sick of the sideways glances, I am sick of the muttering, and I am _sick of this house_. I want you around Harry because you don't mutter about me, or watch yourself around me. You know what it's like to be in a house that you hate, that you've lived in with people you hate and have a mutual feeling. You're my _godson_ and I want what's best for you and that's _Hogwarts_ but I missed out on twelve years, Harry so excuse me for wanting you around." He seemed to break off very abruptly, almost as if he only just realized he'd been speaking.

Breaking the uncomfortable silence that ensued, Harry gave Sirius a small grin which Sirius returned slowly.

"So if I told you I really _have_ been expelled…" Sirius shoved him with his elbow and Harry laughed. And for once, Sirius did as well and as he saw the smile reach his godfather's eyes, Harry knew that Sirius really did just enjoy his company.

It was nice to know that Harry could still believe him.

"That was quite the clever trick you played there. Almost had me convinced."

"Uh _huh_."

"No, really, it was convincing but… you never had me fooled."

"Sure, Sirius. I believe you. Really."

* * *

**AN: Some of the dialogue comes from ch. 9 of OotP. (Pages 156-159 in the US version).**

**What did you think?**


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